Testimony of a Christian ex-muslim lady (22 September 2009)

I am the daughter of a Flemish mother and a Moroccan father. There has always been a great void in my heart: everywhere I went I was bored, whatever I did I was bored. I got married at a very young age and before we went to bed we used to recite Suras. The religion was omnipresent in our lives. We did not eat pork or drink alcohol. I didn’t wear offensive clothes, was never in the presence of men. I did everything Islam said.

One day I decided to start wearing a veil. How proud I was to be a good Muslim! I watched as many videos as possible about Islam; I was looking for something but I didn’t know what it was.  I didn’t know much. Little by little, finding nothing, I felt abandoned. Year after year life seemed gloomier, the void was still there and my boredom and my problem persisted.

At that time I worked as a telemarketer and one day I got a new colleague. She always talked about her God, she always told me long stories. Every day she told me new stories about what her God had done for her, she knew Him very well. Her face was shining with a holy whiteness although she was of mixed race. She was a Christian.

One day she invited all her colleagues to a barbecue. After everyone had finished eating and had left, she started to talk about her God. I said to myself: “What she has, I could have too; I just have to get a Bible." So I asked her for a Bible. From the moment I started reading I began to lose the empty feeling I had inside and I could finally start living. I was 21.

I prayed to God to make himself known to me. Not as a God who taps on the fingers when we do wrong, but as a God who lifts us up, still loves us when we do wrong. He is alive and real, He teaches us who we really are, teaches us to understand others without judging or condemning. My husband is still a Muslim and I know that he does not know God. For a Christian it’s his faith that saves him. If he believes that Jesus Christ died, rose from the dead and ascended to heaven, he will be saved and all his sins will be forgiven. For a Muslim all his sins are forgiven when he goes to Mecca, but really, can his life after that pilgrimage suddenly become perfect?

Man is born a sinner and God knows this: that is why we received the gift of the Holy Spirit, so that with His help we can live a life without sin.  Receiving the Holy Spirit … it is as if God’s spirit comes to live in me just as he lives in Christ and in God. Thus we have God's spirit, a higher power, the Holy Spirit. It is through Him that we exist and truly love. The Bible speaks often about it; the Holy Spirit is very important for every Christian because it is He who shows you the Scriptures, and the Scriptures let you see who Jesus Christ is.