I am marked as Muslim but don’t believe in Allah (October 25, 2009)
When asked to write about my “battle” as an ex-
I do not believe in Allah or God or whatever you want to call him. I believe there is no form of higher power. That makes me different from not only Muslims, but from every believer. But given my roots in Islam I will always be inextricably linked with it. All in all, it doesn’t matter to me, I'm not ashamed of my heritage, and in any case, Westerners are often associated with Christianity though they may not be religious.
But what bothers me is that it is always automatically assumed that I'm Muslim; everyone
does it, Muslims as well as non-
In our home everyone is deeply religious, and of course clashes result. Muslims cannot accept that someone born and raised in their midst is not religious. I always asked myself why I wasn’t religious, even though I had a younger brother and sister with the same education, who went to the same schools as me, had mostly Flemish girls and boys as friends, and yet are very religious. It was always puzzling to me, but I don’t have an explanation for it.
What I can testify is that within the Islamic world it is very difficult to “out”
yourself as non-
I cannot explain how it feels for me to have to live like this. I know that the future
will lead to a break with my family, because that is the only way my parents and
the rest of my family will react to my non-
It was Ramadan recently, and at the end of it the Sugar Feast, and although for me the religious field has no meaning I can compare it with a kind of Christmas. It is a pleasant gathering of relatives, and to be honest I enjoy myself every year. I think that those who celebrate Christmas with their family, even without giving it any religious significance, can imagine how horrible it must be to never celebrate it anymore, or never to be able to celebrate a family gathering again. It tears me up inside, but I know it is the only choice I can make to keep my sanity, to finally obtain my freedom – and that means choosing for myself.
Easier said than done within the Islamic world.